Caught In A Bad Award Ceremony

If you thought Ricky Gervais was bad at the Golden Globes, that's nothing compared to our very own Bob at the GaGa Awards. It seems Bob got so drunk and humiliated himself so badly that they gave the award to someone else entirely, just to save face!

Having quaffed three entire bottles of wine, Bob was last seen stumbling in the general direction of home. From his continued absence from the office today, we can only assume that he was too drunk to pick up some Magical Forgiveness Pakora for Mrs Bob and that he spent the night sleeping in the garage.

We wish him a swift recovery, just in time for his weekend bath.

How drunk is Bob: Or the Case of the early Mulled Wine Tent

Is it me or has the mulled wine tent made an especially early appearance this year?

How drunk is Bob: Or has Bob pooped his pants yet

Probably not very drunk at all to be honest. You see, young Bob is away climbing a big mountain somewhere being all outdoorsy (not beer garden-y). We've received some communication from Bob to let us know he's made it to the top! Cheers bob! We raise a glass in you and Angie's honour - well done



So anyway, to the more pressing points - has Bob managed to make it to the top without getting the shits in the wild? We can only speculate at this juncture. Or can we? Bob Gossip HQ has received an anonymous message from someone with accompanying photo of young Bob on the mountain trying to sneak off for a bijou poopette. Now as we all know, Bob's not big on public pooping so we're guessing that the situation must have been dire and therefore, when you gotta go, you gotta go. Pic below - draw your own conclusions.



We look forward to the return of both Bob and Angie, especially as my own midweek drinking had been curbed slightly since his departure. We cannot wait to hear all the stories of our dear friends and colleagues battling the elements and themselves to accomplish this great task of climbing some big mountain somewhere. That, and them turning into walking chocolate sprinklers (it's the 'altitude' apparently).

User (hic) research or How Drunk is Neil

Neil is very busy this afternoon conducting some super duper important for serious user research in the pub. Yep, that's right - he is now using the guise of 'user research' to address his midday drinking issues.

Neil is currently conducting vital litmus test of one of our users by plying him with beer and asking whether or not he agrees with Neil that the forum should be available on the iphone (incidentally, he does!). Neil refuses to ride Sidecar in important user releationships & doesn't shy away from a good game of Tom & Jerry when it comes to prioritising new features.

And while Neil is by no means The Last Word in features implemenatation, he will not stand for any user Hanky-Panky.



In case you didn't click on any of those links, I'm basically saying Neil's an utter pisshead.

Here's a paparazzi picture of him in the pub.

Bob shocked into drinking

Earlier this afternoon, Bob fled to the pub, and hasn't been seen since.

We think Kerry may have had a hand in it.

Kerry duvet day

Kerry is having a duvet day today. For, like, the first time EVAH!

We can only imagine what colour she is after her all night bender with Crazy Dave & Co. Rumour has it that Dave could barely walk, so we can only assume Kerry is paralysed from the brain down.

In the office, Bob was heard to say "I'm just upset that I wasn't invited."

Wait, Bob's SOBER???

Never mind Bob, how drunk is Gordon???

Drunk Bob is a bad influence: a warning against lunchtime drinking

The shenanigans are starting. You knew it would happen, you knew it was going to start. There are no words that can explain the below.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

The spirit of Christmas is here with mulled wine

It's been a while since we've had some HDIB shenanigans, and while this is disappointingly not an overly drunk HDIB post (we've dropped the ball on a couple other ocassions recently) we present you HDIB's Christmas wishes: Merry Happy Holidays and Christmas everyone. Drunk Bob says: Salut! mmmm mulled wine is teh yummeh!



As the holiday season kicks off, and as the office Christmas party is around the corner, we expect a particularly busy month at HDIB. Stay tuned - we promise you this:
Bob + booze + holiday season = Shenanigans. True story!

Code Freeze?

There's a Code Freeze happening today at Bob Industries, but predictably, Bob is nowhere to be found and the deadline has already passed. Perhaps he's celebrating the release of our latest product a little early.

We'll be sure to update you when we know more, but for now Bob is missing, presumed drunk.

Honorary Acting Technical Director In Chief Deskcake is standing in the wings, ready to push the button.

Uh-oh! Someone's spiked the office coffee.

Looks like Drunk Bob's been getting up to his old antics again! It appears he's been drunkenly devilish and spiked Gordon's morning beverage. Precisely what he's spiked it with I can't be sure, but I've got my suspicions.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Drunk Bob is feeling the Christmas spirit a little early

BREAKING:
Well, I'm just lost for words. An anonymous source has just sent in the clip below. It looks as though Drunk Bob's been hitting the eggnog pretty early this year, and the only explanation for this is that said eggnog is laced with acid.

Check out Bob's killer moves below and be amazed at what pouring vodka on your cornflakes in the morning will do to you.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Lunchtime drinking is like swine flu - it's very contagious

After last week's coup de cupcake that saw Bob (temporarily) overthrown in a managerial capacity by Deskcake, we are seeing a slightly frightening trend emerging. This week, it seems the H1N1 bug of daytime drinking has infected Neil! Neil, you will know, is the other sanctimonious writer of HDIB and rarely partakes in works-related drinking (unless I moan, whine and bribe with gossip). He's been out in the pub since lunch and has yet to return! He's attempting to (drunkenly) summon me to the pub as well, but thanks to the heavy rotation of NHS ads regarding swine flu drinking, I'm staying well away!

Neil isn't on his own - joining him in his Monday afternoon repartee of cocktails is Ian (of How Divorced is Ian fame). Ian joins Neil today after much (and by much I mean none at all) arm twisting. I think they make a beautiful co-dependent pair, what do y'all think?

Just remember dudes, if your hangovers don't get you, sausage cat will.

Crisis in the office!

Oh noes! We urgently need the input of a middle management type here at Bob's work, but Bob is nowhere to be found. We've scoured the office, looked under the fridge in the canteen, and even in the seventh circle of hell that is the gents toilets.

So in a brave show of courage, DeskCake has stepped forward as Honorary Acting Technical Director In Chief until Bob can be found. Or replaced, whichever is cheaper.



I, for one, welcome our new frosting encrusted overlord.

Update: It seems Bob might be in the pub. Odd how we never thought to look there.

Newsflash

This just in: Bob is OFF the wagon!!!

An eye witness reported that Bob was out drinking late last night, despite having vowed that he would "only be having one". It seems one turned into five, but the blame was placed firmly on Kerry, who as a regular contributor to HDiB can only be described as a 'bad influence'.

Questioning Bob about the incident, it seems she 'twisted his arm'. Literally and physically. Ouch! Kerry responded, saying that Bob told her to, and adding "Bob is definitely an acoholic [sic]".

Bob replied "Takes one to know one", to which Kerry retorted "I'm rubber, you're glue".

We feel this one might run and run.

One foot on the wagon

In a surprise twist, Bob's been pretty much mostly sober this week, so we've resorted to making stuff up instead.

Here's a picture of a giant KerryLobster attacking a tiny HappyDrinkingBob.

The shocking truth

It has come to light that there may be a more sinister reason for Bob's current vacation than was previously thought.

Within the comments section of the following video...



...the following comment was recently discovered.



We wish you well with your recovery, Mrs Bob.

Reunion

Bob met up with an old friend at rehab his hotel yesterday. HDIB can exclusively reveal the whereabouts of Deskcake, the former blogger missing in action since August.


The details of Deskcake's disappearance, arrest and subsequent involuntary clinical hotel stay are currently sketchy, but we'll bring you the news as it breaks.

Stay tuned to HDIB.

Rehab: Update

Drunk Bob's just been in touch to give us worried folks an update on how he's getting on! We're so happy to hear from Drunk Bob especially as he sounded in good spirits.

The ahem resort he's staying at is apparently very relaxing and peaceful. Bob's had a group meeting this morning so he got to meet a lot of new people. The group leader however, has a disconcertingly soothing voice that is sort of freaking him out.

The people at the resort are making him wear this tshirt around - he's not quite sure why but apparently it'll help him feel better (although Bob suspects that Pepto Bismal would be better than a tshirt - curry night did not agree with him). Anyway, Bob sends his love and a picture of said tshirt - maybe someone out there could explain this?

Rehab

In a last, desperate attempt to curb his drinking, Bob's wife has taken him away on a week-long intervention holiday. Bob posed for a quick photo shoot outside the hotel. We wish Bob luck. Maybe he'll send us a postcard.